Hope

The Anthill Ashes

When life lies down
on the song of a bird
The resurrection
returns my name
And I break
the brakes of senses
To taste
the steady pain

My cross is nailed
into me
I pity the fingers
that scourge my face
The minutes
hurry the hours
The hours
hurry the days

The loyal faces
approach
And run along
with every summer
Beside the flooded feet
of love
The hardened lives
are turning numb

Between my feet
against the wind
My words will cascade
through the strife
But if inside my eyes
you see the flying geese
The ropes will pause
the next worn life

The seasoned time
has buried signs
And swings like a branch
above a lost sandal
I step inside
the ant hill ashes
Becoming new
and larger ant hill

This painting and poem is by a beautiful little girl named Akiane. She has an amazing testimony and is a child prodigy in art and poetry. Visit her website www.artakiane.com

I often arrive here when I am moved. It's been an interesting past month and a half. Life has had many moments. I have absolutely loved the variety of my job but I have come home in tears after a few. It has been exciting and I love walking into a new environment everyday. That's why I'm not sure I could ever teach the same classes 10 months straight. I love the quick intro games and get-to-know you games. I love introducing myself for the first time and helping the kids remember my name. :) I love that I bought a neon yellow whistle so that I could teach PE. I love that I have stuck through a few of the days and classes that I'm not sure I could normally have.

I am continually questioning the education system however. I love learning, and I know I am mostly successful in managing the class. However the learning part on behalf of the students I feel, leaves a lot to be desired. I know I'm only a sub but I feel like there are so many ways to learn outside of the classroom and kids just get stuffed into these classrooms and half the class is wasted on managing others kids' behavior or learning problems. I am not sure where my hope lies in the learning. I really do enjoy challenges and reading and studying... but how much more do I learn through experience?

I am so excited to be learning more right now through reading. I have honestly never read so much in my life! I have read fiction and non-fiction. I am keeping a list... (surprise!) of the books I have read and the books I want to read. I can learn so much in a short period of time, spending little-to-no money from books! I am at the library a lot! It is interesting: on my days off this summer I would drive into town (Kelowna) and one of my favorite places to go was Chapters. I loved going and reading and even just looking through the books. It was so peaceful there. I was often on my own on my day off and I didn't want to stay around camp for the day or go to the mall. I am particularly interested in Christian history. My next goal is to go to bible school.

I am filled with emotion as of late. I guess that means a lot of things. I tear up or cry at everything! Life is so moving. I never thought I would! We have so much hope. I am so confident in Jesus and who he is. I find my biggest struggle is wanting all of these great character qualities but I get so distracted I lose focus of what's most important. Relationship, relationship, relationship. The thing that is the most hardest in life is the most valuable.

Well, my ramblings have come to a close. I am not much of a writer when it comes to the inner expressions. I find it is so hard to get it on paper. But I suppose that is a brief synopsis of my life right now.

Psalm 130:7
O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.

Matthew 12:21
In his name the nations will put their hope."

Melanie Out

A Good Night

I just got home from visiting Evie tonight.

Seriously, long lost best friends reunited. I spent my time in "Kevie's" (Kevin and Evie) newly made over basement suite. I think I said about three times "oh... newly married couple." And Kevin's whole aim was to make me awkward. I didn't fall for any of it. I embraced it. I think I've been worn down. I can handle a lot more. Maybe I should become a nurse.

God is cool. I was listening to my ipod and an instrumental version of "The first Noel" came on. I don't know why, but I teared up. It moved me. Jesus came to earth so fragile and clothed in humility. So good. God is good!

And so good night!
Mel Out

Small Town Saskatchewan

Trip to visit Grandma Woseley:

My mom, sister, brother and I drove East to visit my grandma two weeks ago in her little Saskatchewan town. It was fantastic. A long drive... but here are some real life musing about the event:

I saw a "foxy grandma" bumper sticker. I told Grandma I'd get her one so she could cruise around town and people would love her. She said "well, foxes are smart."

We stayed at my mom's friend's house built in some early part of the last century. The lady was away that weekend but she left 9 pairs of glasses lying around!

We watched Over the Hedge. This was my favorite quote from Verne the turtle.

My head says listen to my tail, my tail says listen to my head, and I just... end up with an upset stomach.

Hammy the 'Rabid' Squirrel

We were about to take a walk and while waiting for my sister, I convinced my mom to hide behind behind a bush with me to scare my sister. Tracy walks up, I jump out. My mom looks up about 20 seconds later yells 'boo!' It was fantastic! We teased her about her delayed reaction.

This weekend we got to find our more about my Grandpa who fought in WWII. We listened to an interview between a newscaster researching my Grandpa's life and his interview with my Grandma and a gentleman from England that fought with my Grandpa. It was really interesting. My Grandpa fought a Lancaster plane and won a DFC- Distinguished Flying Cross for one of his missions.A Distinguished Flying Cross

The cross is awarded to officers and Warrant Officers for an act or acts of valour, courage or devotion to duty performed whilst flying in active operations against the enemy. The slip-on bar has an eagle in the centre. The year of the award is engraved on the reverse.

We were so popular in Grandma's town, the newspaper wrote about our visit. (Apparently this is the norm in small town Sask.)

We drove through Medicine Hat on our way. I was thrilled because I had lived here during my first teaching practicum. I felt compelled to be the tour guide for my family. They 'loved' it (ha!) when I shared all of my knowledge...

and so this concludes another real life adventure.

Mel Out

Last Class Bash

We are America's Next Top Models

Final Semester Top 10

1. Breakforth: running through downtown Edmonton at night, taco salad in hotel room, making best friends with the concierge, stopping to visit Mike in Airdrie!, Starfield, visiting Evie's Ukrainian Aunt Dahria who feeds us and shows us their train kingdom

Starfield in the flesh!

2. Barenaked Ladies Concert. We got in for free by working at the World Vision booth. This was fantastic! It was an amazing concert- they are so entertaining. I would even pay money to see them.. and that says a lot.

3. My house. We moved in February 3rd. This house is amazing. Even my nursery bedroom was fantastic. Our gas fireplace (which is not up to code), was a highlight too. We walked everywhere downtown. This included Spudnuts. This little doughnut shop is two blocks away from our house. They have amazing cupcakes.

4. Watching LOST! We watch it on Evie's Laptop. This show cannot keep me in my seat.

5. RCM Grade 8 Voice Exam. I honestly loved taking voice lessons and would love to take the next exam. la la la...

6. Evie's Engagement. Evie's Hollywood Themed Bridal Shower.

7. Working out at the gym: this includes running around the new track! and skipping with Lindsey around the track. It also includes basketball and badminton. I never did get to the climbing wall.


8. Recitals!
Mary-Ann's Philippines Mission Trip Fundraiser: We put on an afternoon of Tea and Tunes. We presented a delightful musical gala. Songs included 'Three Little Maids From School' From the Mikado. Mary-Ann, Evie and I sang this song as a parallel to our lives.
Deanna's and Melinda's Recitals.

9. Vietnamese food, Ric's Grill, Coffee, coffee coffee.

10. Living with Evie and Mary-Ann. This includes short red house coats.

I have these girls in the palm of my hands

Final Semester Bottom 10

1. Expensive Utility Bills

2. Almost getting run over by a truck on University Drive.

3. Wedding magazines. I never want to see one again in my life.

4. Speeding tickets.



5. MSW LOGOS. Seriously, who uses this?! stupid 'turtle'

6. Mondays. Mondays were very long days. Strange things happen on Mondays.

7. Dishes. I have never washed so many dishes in my life. This was the semester for dishes.

8. Lack of motivation. I don't really care about these 'bird' classes... but then again I really do! Classes were painful. This is a studying session. Clearly Starbucks enlightened us.

9. 10. well... that's it. I guess I've blocked 9 and 10. Pretty good.


Mel Out

A Dog named 'Needle'

I was going to write this post in Hindi, as this is now an option in Blogger, but I thought I'd better consider my English speaking friends first.

So, this post is dedicated to my dog, CODY. No, he is not dead, and no, his name is not needle. But this weekend I had a new experience. Some of you may or may not know, but Cody was recently diagnosed with diabetes. Who knew?! So now, this 'gold' dog, as my dad likes to call him, gets insulin shots twice a day with a strict diet. No chopped liver for him. My mom decided that this weekend would be a good time for me to learn how to give him a shot. I am no veterinarian... nor am I a dog whisperer. It is quite the process... needless to say, my mom ended up taking over. Who wants to stab a needle in a dog?

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not afraid to do it. I pride myself in doing 'manly' jobs around the house... killing spiders, doing manual labor like lifting our hatch door, which weighs a gazillion tons, hanging lights on our 9 foot ceiling... However, injecting a little dog with a needle takes talent. I mean, I think it is a valuable skill to learn. I mean, druggies do it everyday. People needing epi-pens. Giving or taking blood. But no one said it would be easy.

So until my next needle lesson...

Cheers to Cody! He has survived a lot. He has survived a lot of self-inflicted trauma, BUT he has come out resilient. And he is still a smart cookie. I taught him his tricks with cheerios: lay down, dead dog, dead dog to 'bang,' shake a paw, high five, jump, putting food in front of him and making him wait to eat it, and much, much more.

Thanks CODY, for many a happy time. You truly are man's best friend.

Roasting Sticks and Crosses

Ahh! The injustice of it all!

Have you ever had one those awful, climatic points in your life where it feels like you are being roasted alive on a stick? Yesterday was my moment. What a roast.

• This is how it all began...
  

I took the opportunity to try out the 'shorter' way home for Easter. It would have been shorter. It probably would have been faster. I probably would have had a nice relaxing drive home, signed the Vulcan guest book etc etc... BUT I GOT PULLED OVER!

I noticed a lot of cops out, so I made sure to watch my speed. I came up over a hill however, and saw two cop cars with someone else they had pulled over in between them. I slowed down... and as the image began to fade away in my rear-view mirror, I saw a flash of lights. I pulled over. Out comes this swanky cop. I honestly had no idea why he had stopped me. He asks for my license and insurance and gives my a short blurb... I look up and ask, "what did you say?!" Basically he told me I had been going 80 past a flashing emergency vehicle. The speed is supposed to be 60. I said, 'What?! I didn't know that!"

He came back, handed my the stupid yellow speeding ticket. I looked at it: "$280!!! Where is this law? Is it in the driving manual? I didn't know about this law." He told me it was this new law made up in Fall 2005. He told me I could argue it in court. His face was stone cold.

Of all things, he walks away and what do I say? 'Thank you.' You know, I was one of those stupid people who say thank you to a cop for giving them a ticket. I am too freakin' polite.

I didn't cry then right then. However, it certainly built up to be my emotional release of the month. I cried in my car for the next hour home. My mom would have told me to pull over and cry. It wasn't just the ticket. It was life. One of those awful moments where you feel like all you've been doing is trying your hardest. Things finally come unraveled. These are the most painful moments. You invest so much into life, and then it all seems to ca-puts. It might sound overly dramatic, but I am ok with that.

• Revelation on Pain and Suffering

Sometimes we joke about being too emotional- but if we can show all of our joy, why not show all of our pain? Pain just shows that we feel. We have felt and lived life. It is the Easter Holiday- and as we remember Christ on the cross- we see God our Father, who loves us beyond reason. His deepest expression of love was in his deepest experience of pain.

• Picture

I was looking through a friend's album on facebook once. She had just arrived in a foreign country for the next month. She took a picture of herself crying. It stuck with me. I had my camera handy, so I took a picture of myself. The tears had ceased for the moment. The picture says a thousand words, or at least a couple hundred...

• Happy Easter!

I am back on the road. Alive and kicking. Life is good. I take it moment by moment through God's grace. I have a smile on my face. The sun is shining... the wind is at my back!

The Life of Pi

So another random set of life notes:

• On Biking and Injuries

Biking across Whoop-up Drive is fantastic. The name says it all. Biking with Deanna and Melinda to Safeways makes my day. Biking is a fantastic form of exercise. It makes your thighs work. I realized however, the frightening part about biking down the hill next to on coming traffic without a helmet (don't tell my mother!) has its moments of terror. Thankfully, I am still alive and in good spirits.

I think that I really like getting injured. I cut the back of my leg on my bike pedal and low and behold the blood dripped down and stained my sock. It was fantastic. It was a great war wound.
I wish I had a picture, but I've already washed the sock. I currently have a hello-kitty band-aid on my wound- thanks to Dr. Melinda.

• On Deanna's Recital

I went to Deanna' recital on Sunday. I am not an especially sentimental person- I mean, I might tear up once and a while, but for a tear to actually fall, this must mean a whole heck of a lot. So really, I was just as surprised when a tear (or two!) fell when she and the other two girls sang "Wonderful , Merciful Saviour."

I also have realized that hair extensions are amazing. They are real hair. I think that they should be stored in an ice chest. I think Deanna was the bell of the ball. She is stunning.

• On T-Marie's Visit

Tracy came to visit me this weekend. Just in time. It's like she knew I needed her. She is like one of us. She is also an amazing choreographer. She is so trendy. She is so funny. I love Tracy.

• On Evie's Engagement

Basically, this is one of the most exciting things to happen. I totally respect and admire Kevin and I am so excited to stand up front with Evie on her Wedding day. (!) We have been doing the wedding talk for a week and a half now... it has its moments but really... it's fantastic. Weddings are a lot of work- but hell are they fun. Girls will be girls.

I suggested that we have a couple of drinks before the actual ceremony. Evie isn't convinced yet. I have made it my goal to sing the bridal march to Evie everyday I see her until her wedding. I think this will really help get in the right frame of mind.

Wedding dress shopping has got me thinking however- they are so poofy and white and frilly. I think I will get married in a brown paper bag. I think I will also have a massive BBQ for my own wedding with pineapple chicken skewers. That's all I really want.

• On Thought and Retrospect

"My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes" Anne of Green Gables

Mel out.

The Love/Hate Relationship

Things I currently love!

1. Rotational Badminton
2. 'Left To Tell" A Rwandan Genocide Survivor's story
3. Sun, sun sun!
4. Our gas fireplace
5. Red River Cereal. High in Fibre.
6. Praying with friends
7. Walking through the river bottom
8. Facebook!
9. Unexpected compliments.
10. Eating healthy
11. Cross-Country Skiing
12. Shaving my brother's head!
13. Getting a memory card for my camera to take 830 pictures
14. Praying for God's Will
15. Mocha Cabana !

Things I currently hate!
1. Knowing whether to tip a hairdresser or not
2. Snow
3. Parking tickets
4. Not sleeping
5. Expiring Trial Newspaper subscriptions
6. Having no hot tub
7. Wigs
I can't think of any more!

Mel Out

Change: The Quality of Impermanece

So... I am feeling rather sentimental as of late.

Change. Change is good, right? I can't go into the specifics, please ask me if you have the time, however I feel compelled to break out into Amy Grant's

"Oh How the Years Go By"

And oh how the years go by
And oh how the love brings tears to my eyes
All through the changes the soul never dies
We fight, we laugh, we cry
As the years go by

There were times we stumbled
They thought they had us down
But we came around
How we rolled and rambled
We got lost and we got found
Now were back on solid ground

We took everything
All our times would bring
In this world of dangers
cause when your heart is strong
You know you're not alone
In this world of strangers

Now, these lyrics would seem to present themselves as poetry, however they can't be, because I am a self-professed poetry hater. So it would seem, that these lyrics are merely catchy phrases, with a bit of kick to them. They probably aren't good enough to be poetry anyways. Not that I would know, or that I am judging Amy Grant's lyrics...

Anyways, I am about to graduate... and it would seem that graduation has to bring 'change.' It's like the law of gravity. It has to happen. Maybe I should go to the moon. It doesn't happen there.

I am not bitter about change. Actually, I am slowly and inevitably mostly excited!

I am just realizing that when things do change, it's like there's no stopping it. Change happens in every single aspect of my life. It even manages to catapult into my family and friend's lives. Which in turn changes my life! I apologize for being so evasive about the specific events in my life that compel me to blog about change currently, however I will dedicate this blog to the top 10 changes in my life since starting University:

1. Moving away for school
2. Getting involved in IVCF
3. Living with girls. All 11 of them
4. a) Meeting my best friend
b) Living with my best friend
5. Studying Music. Gift divine.
6. Teaching!
7. a) Living in three places at once.
b) Teaching in two rural Albertan towns in the same year.
8. Getting Baptized
9. a) Meeting and getting to know some of the most amazing people in my life.
b) Seeing their lives change...
10. To be determined...

Mel out.

Fish in the Creek

Tracy and I reunite. To stay out of trouble, we treck through the trails of Fish Creek park.
We come across a backhoe.
Clearly this is too much fun.


































































We love mirrors.
We love nature.
We love Maps.


Until the next adventure.

Trip Down Memory Lane

I wish I had pictures. My mom sent me this today. She loves me and this is what she remembers so fondly:

I found one of my "mom's notebooks" - here are some of the entries about you!!!
Feb 20/87 Jordan and Melanie "reading" on the couch. Jordan sitting on Melanie's
lap!!

May 87 Melanie able to buckle up her dress shoes!

Sept 87 Melanie calls me from top of the stairs saying "Alison-Alison" also gave
Jordan an order and touching him on the back says "do that, honey!"

Nov 87 Melanie's favorite song "Jesus loves me "

Jan 88 Melanie singing nursery rhymes a lot and Jesus loves me

Mar 88 asked Melanie where did you get such a brother? She replied with a smile,
"in the garden"!

Apr 1/88 Melanie likes wearing dresses and won't wear pants at all-very insistent
about "dressy shoes" to go with.

June 88 Jor 41", Mel 39" Tracy 35"
July Jord 36.5 lb, Mel 30.5 lb, Tracy 35lb

Oct 88 Melanie hurt her lip and was crying- Jord came up behind and hugged her-then
she was lying on the couch with ice on her lip and Jordan said he'd read her stories
so she'd feel better. Also sang some nursery rhymes to her both sitting in the
chair now.(big living room chair)

May 89 Jordan puts his chair right next to Melanie's at breakfast and says "I want
to sit beside Melanie- she's my best friend"

Dec 25/89 Melanie opening a gift took off the wrapping paper, and looking at the
box says OH!! I've got my own cereal!! very excitedly--it was a shredded wheat box.

You were quite a character-- and (mom says lovingly) YOU STILL ARE!!!

Hall Buddies

This post is dedicated to my friend Lee. He has inspired to write something witty and deep.

I have hall buddies. What are hall buddies you might ask? Well, they are those special 'friends,'
you may or may not know by name- but whom you run into almost everyday of your University career. I have numerous. Let me tell you about them.

1. My first ever hall buddy has sadly retired this year- gone off to bigger and better things, however he has a fond memory in my heart. I think his name was Kieran. We would see each almost everyday. He studied political science. He seemed quite and subdued- however always intriguing in a political scinece sort of way.

2. My second hallbuddy is one of the concession re-stock men. You've probably seen him. Maybe 5'4, mustache, asian. He is brilliant. Dedicated sincerly to his work. Always re-stocking.

3. My gym hallbuddy is perhaps a little less by chance... His name is Adam. He works at the gym desk. I used to think it was great when I saw him folding the towels at the desk.

That's all. I am moving. My house is great! I'll post pics as soon as possible.

Mel out.

Fearsome three... reunited as roomates.